Christmas

The illustrious visa notification email came in the day before Justin & I were due to fly to Toronto for Christmas. One of the lessons we took to heart in our Terrifying European Adventure (TEA) was not to rush travel bookings. Knowing we were about to dive in to some serious family time, we decided to wait until after Christmas to book flights & accommodation. This also let us suspend reality for a bit longer, and pretend like we aren't about to move half a world away from our friends and family.

I was mostly successful at denying what is about to happen. It wasn't until Christmas day when I first had a true moment of realization about what we are going to miss. Sitting on the couch, I watched Justin play on his phone while my sibling read silently beside him. A peaceful moment of comfortable silence. The kind of moment that only happens when you are truly relaxed in a space. This is why most people don't move thousands of kms away.

Blatant psychic denial aside, the trip was really lovely. Our flights were surprisingly painless. Medival times lived up to the hype. We started a new tradition of Christmas tarot readings. There was successful construction of a new, Swedish Gingerbread house. Overall, there was a well balanced mix of family time and unstructured vacation time. I managed to hold off my anxieties about re-entry into daily life until the very end. It was only once I had to start saying capital-G Goodbye to people that I won't see again for ~3 years that the anxiety started to creep in. Not only was daily life around the corner, but things are about to get very intense.

Throughout the trip, I found myself thinking about family and connection. While it is certainly incomplete, I came up with my own definition of what family means. Family is when you don't bring a book when you visit, because you know they have books on their shelf that you want to read.