Offerings of Reality

Well, it finally caught up with me. The reality of what we are taking on has finally hit home. I woke up at 4:30 this morning (don't ask) to an email with the official offer of acceptance. And I was like, 'oh shit! That Australia thing I've been talking about is happening'.

As all super cool people do, I of course read through everything at 6am with my coffee. That's when the second part hit me: I'm doing a PhD! I just volunteered myself for a huge amount of work and a massive pay cut. Not even volunteered - Fought for! Worked hard to earn! And all in a place where I will have fewer resources and less support! Wooh! This is going to go great. Right guys? Super great!

But it's actually okay. When I first found out about the scholarship offer, my reaction was joy, but also disbelief. Justin & I started telling people about it, but it still didn't feel real to me. I would watch people react to our news and that was really fun. But it still didn't sink in. Now that I have the offer of acceptance, the paperwork, things are suddenly very real. Academic bureaucracy is in motion and gears are turning. Things are happening. And while it's all terrifying if I think about it all at once, it's satisfying to finally see sometime that felt so abstract for so long become tangible action.

Let's be honest, Justin and I are two people who tend to drift from reality pretty easily. This little dose of the real world is probably for the best. It's pretty wild though. After a year of DMs, emails, and zoom calls it was the 8 pages of terms and conditions that finally got me. I've always been a sucker for contracts and fine print.